Can't Be There

I can’t be there to see you shine
Because you only shine when I’m away
When I’m there, around
It’s like I darken your day

I know that if I told you this
You would say I’m out of my mind
But if you saw you when I’m not there
You’d understand those first few lines

I decided today
That when I wanna see you play
I won’t be there to watch
Cause when I’m there
Even just to stare
Your motivation stops

Now with anyone else
You play with your heart
But with me
You play with your mind
I see it in your body language
I see it in your eyes

In the past that fact
Has made me sad
Then the sadness turned to jealousy
But now I accept
That you can’t excel
If me you see

As I sit here reflecting
I’m feeling neglected
The sadness has returned
But hopefully not for long

I understand
That I just
Can’t be there

Portia Lane